I’m grateful for my children’s support as I find love again
Although they want to protect me, they understand I must find healing
As a columnist for FAP News Today since October 2020, I’ve written about various topics, all related to my experience caring for a spouse who had hereditary ATTR amyloidosis.
My columns touch on the emotional and physical challenges I faced as a caregiver, the adjustments we made as a family, the coping strategies we developed, the profound impact the disease had on my late husband’s life, and his eventual passing. They also explore my life as a widow and the responsibilities I carry as the leader of an amyloidosis patient association here in New Zealand.
Since Aubrey’s passing on May 22, 2022, I have experienced the darkest of times, but I’ve also discovered the light of love again. This journey has taught me the importance of love in healing and moving forward. I’ve realized how much my four children have enveloped me in their love, willing to place my happiness ahead of their desire to protect and shield me.
It’s an exciting place to find myself in. As mothers, we raise our children with the best intentions of seeing them develop and grow into responsible, caring, resilient, and mature adults. We teach them the do’s and don’ts. We point them toward a path where we pray they’ll find satisfaction and worth. We create a space for them to fall back on should they need us. When the sky grows dark and the future looks inky, they know they can always count on us to hold their hand.
Hence, when I fell in love again, their first instinct was to pull me into their fold and protect me. That wasn’t out of selfish motives, but rather not wanting to see their mother get hurt after all the pain we’d experienced in losing someone we love dearly.
Looking back to the start of my relationship with Darren, I see just how well Aubrey and I raised our four children. Sure, we weren’t perfect parents, and enduring Aubrey’s illness was tremendously arduous and painful for all of us. However, Darren’s presence in my life has been a source of healing and joy, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity to love again after loss.
I now see four excellent adults who, with their deep understanding and empathy, are so mature in their thoughts and feelings. Their resilience, despite the hardships they’ve faced, is inspiring. So even though they never want to let me go, they recognize that I must find love and happiness again. They understand that I, too, need to find healing in my life.
The American singer and songwriter Kenny Loggins once said, “My trust in a higher power that wants me to survive and have love in my life is what keeps me moving forward.” I definitely agree.
Note: FAP News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of FAP News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to familial amyloid polyneuropathy.
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